Hiya friends, welcome back. During my procrastination today I found this and thought I’d share it with you. I can’t count the number of times I’ve heard these statements, so I figured I’d tell you my responses.
- My “little” book? If you’re talking about the thing I spend most of my time trying to perfect and get just right, yeah I’m still working on that.
- You try creating an entire world in your head, and then tell me it’s not a real fucking job.
- Ugh, seriously?!?! Refer to number two!
- I don’t write because I have time to kill, I write because if I didn’t I might die. No wait, I write to prevent myself from killing people in real life.
- Yes, Mom. Creative writing degrees are a real thing.
- I didn’t realize that being published was part of the criteria for being a writer. I thought I had to be a writer to get published, silly me and my creative thinking.
- If you keep pissing me off with all these nonsense questions you might be, but I can guarantee you won’t like how it ends. (I have creative ways to kill people off inside the pages of a novel.)
- You have a great idea, great! Write your own damn book in your free time, and use all your wonderful ideas. That shit is intellectual property, you don’t give that shit away.
- No, the world of professional liars is saved for con men and politicians. I simply see myself as a teller of stories.
- What the what?!?! Why would I tell you everything? You can wait and read it when it’s finished, or even better I’ll sign a copy when it’s published. (Do I sound big-headed to say that? Maybe, but hey, sometimes I’m the only one who believes in my “little” book.)
That is how I would respond, what about you guys? Have you ever had anyone say any of these to you? How would you respond? I’d love to hear some snark. Until next time…