Challenge Accepted!

Hiya friends! I feel like I’m forever apologizing on here, but seriously these last couple of weeks have been ROUGH (and that’s putting it mildly). Between my ankle and tons of doctor’s appointments (in the coming week I have three scheduled), LOTS of homework (I HATE MATH), add in that I haven’t been sleeping and I’m currently building a world for a story I’m working on. (Side Note: If you need some help staying organized while building a world of your own, check out Tiffany Crystal’s blog for some hints.) Anyway, add all that together and you’ve got a doozy couple of weeks, but enough complaining, let’s get down to business.

As I have been spending a great deal of my time sitting in waiting rooms, and well…WAITING. I’ve been spending that time browsing Pinterest on my phone, I’ve pinned everything from DIY ideas to nursery themes (funny part is I’m not even pregnant).

BUT, the most exciting thing I’ve found is Rory Gilmore’s reading challenge. Now most of the people who know me IRL know that I am a massive Gilmore Girls fan for many reasons, one of those is Rory Gilmore. She’s a bookworm like me, she’s also extremely funny which I also fancy myself, now if only I could talk as fast as she does. There are 339 books on this crazy list, and I’m setting myself the challenge to read them all, which I’m pretty sure makes me just a hoofin’ crazy.

I’m going to start today, and I’ve already decided the first couple of books I’m going to read. I’m not even sure where this challenge originated, but I’m going to link to the list I found (The Rory Gilmore Reading Challenge). Feel free to give me your feelings on any of the books you’ve read, like having the tissues ready for when I read Flower for Algernon by Daniel Keyes (thanks for the heads-up Tiff). Wish me luck my friends. Until next time…

 

Coming Soon …

Go to Earth, they said! It’ll be fun, they said. Yeah, because having our ship blown up and being tossed into the middle of an intergalactic war is really my idea of a good time. I think I’ve finally gotten the hang of the human principle of sarcasm, don’t you?

The moment I heard the sirens going off, I knew something was wrong. Ever been in the middle of an intergalactic “he-said-she-said?” Well, I have. Wait, I AM, and allow me to spare you the wondering: it’s not fun. Both sides are saying we’re traitors. How exactly we’re betraying ANYONE, when we’re doing EXACTLY what we were TOLD to do, is beyond us.

All we know is this: if we’re seen-we’re dead.

So yeah, I think it’s pretty safe to say that my first mission as a Commander just went to Fuocielo in a fiery handbasket. Our only chance at survival is to figure out what happened and why. Now, someone else in my position might be naïve enough to think their own government wouldn’t sabotage a mission as important as this, but I know better. I just have to somehow figure out who the real traitor is, and somehow prove it before my crew and I are killed.

Ankle v. Biblio: A Battle of Wits and Will

Hiya friends! Holy shit I’ve been away for a little while, but I can explain, I swear. The short of the long of it is, my ankle hates me and is currently attempting to exile itself. The rest of the body is in a conference and it seems the exile will be denied. That being said, the ankle has nothing to lose at this point and has refused to work properly until all its demands are met. The entire body has taken meetings with doctors and have scheduled an MRI to determine if further negotiations are possible. We are confident that through time and patience, as well as certain concessions on either side, our differences can be resolved.

Considering these unforeseen circumstances, the body has decided to restrict the ankles access to Twitter, as she tends to not think before tweeting, and that seems irresponsible. In response, the ankle has revoked access to the swimming pool and the community gym, as well as anything it has deemed to be fun in any way. As you can clearly see, we are at quite the stalemate.

But, on a serious note…

THIS SHIT SUCKS!!!!!

Here are the facts as they stand right now. I hurt my ankle a while ago, and it was never properly fixed (good one, Nikki). I woke up two weeks ago in some pain, with a swollen ankle and foot, and deduced that I must be a VERY active sleeper. It wasn’t until a few days later that I finally was convinced, and yes, it took convincing to get me to agree to go to the local ER and see what the deal was.

At this point the usual happened, I was asked tons of questions, my ankle was poked, prodded, and my foot was wiggled (more on the wiggling foot in a second). I knew they were going to want an X-Ray even though I had told them nothing was broken. They didn’t listen and to radiology I went, well wheeled, no walking from here on out.  *Important Info Alert: I miss walking.*

It’s at this point that I’d like to point out, no one was harmed during the hospital visit we’re discussing. Once inside the lovely X-Ray room, I noticed there were two people, the radiologist who had come and gotten me and a noob, immediately the section of my brain that registers pain sighed and let out an exasperated “Here we go.” He must have seen my eyes as wide as saucers and tried to ease my worries, “calm down, an X-Ray doesn’t hurt one bit.”

It was at this point that my mouth decided to join the party and say, “Yeah, I’ve had a few, not the X-Ray I’m worried about.” (Internal monologue: Good job Nikki, piss off the person who is gonna move your foot an ankle into position….back pedal now dumbass, quick use humor…and go). “Sorry that’s not what I mean, it’s just running a mission with a noob can sometimes get you hurt.” (IM: Yeah, that was much better, why the hell are you so awkward every time you open that hole on your face?) His face was stony for a minute before he said, “I’ll try to be careful.”

So, in the course of about an hour, I’d argued with a doctor and pissed off the new guy in radiology, batting a thousand here people. He did end up causing a little pain, but I bit my tongue and didn’t say anything. After the bones were properly pictured I was being wheeled out and said, “Nice job, Noob! Mission accomplished with no casualties, level up.” He laughed as I rolled out of sight. See, I tried to smooth things over, I’m not a complete ass. As suspected there were no broken bones, so I was sent on my merry way with an ace wrap, air cast, and specific instructions to contact the ortho.

Cut to now, he’s been contacted and seen, hence the MRI appointment. Bones weren’t good enough for him, he needs muscles and stuff. I get to lay in a tube on Wednesday afternoon, with my head exposed, thank whoever is looking out for me. I definitely get claustrophobic and that’s no fun for anyone.

As it stands right now I’ve been on crutches for just about two weeks, and won’t know until the 19th, a nice even month until I figure out what the deal is. Have I mentioned how much I loathe crutches? In my house, we call them “sticks,” but dress it up any way you wish they’re still torture devices.

So, that’s it the whole annoying tale…I should definitely tell you guys about the conversation in the cast room. It was highly entertaining, I think you’d all enjoy it. Either way, I’ll keep you updated. Until next time my friends.

Pomp and Circumstance

Hiya friends, welcome back. As I promised last week this is my full report on the happenings of my first excursion with CBD oil. This past Friday, my youngest nephew graduated from high school (cue the sappy moment intermingled with the horror that I’m that old). The easiest way to do this is to basically run through the entire day, don’t worry I’ll edit the boring stuff out.

The day before I was pretty anxious and I kept having to find inventive ways to keep my brain occupied so as to not get too bad. I played video games, The Division is an amazing game, I highly recommend it. I used the CBD oil throughout the day, and tried to gauge how much and when to use it to avoid the worst of the panic attacks. It seemed to take the edge off them, which made me feel a little more comfortable with using it the next day.

Then we came to the day of and when I woke I was fully expecting that familiar feeling of dread crushing in on me, but….it wasn’t there. Instead I felt a full range of emotions. Excitement for seeing my nephew walk across the stage and receive the diploma that he’d worked so hard to get. Happiness that it mattered to him that I was there. Sadness at how grown up he is now, and that the little boy he once was is just a memory now. But, pride was probably the biggest one, he did work his ass off and he succeeded in it, and because I remember teaching him how to read when he was 5 and well without reading…you get the picture. I also had a moment of shock that anxiety seemed to be the farthest thing from my brain, it was amazing.

As the day progressed, I used the CBD oil a few times to keep myself from dropping into anxiety and panic. I really didn’t want to let anyone down, not my family, not my nephew, and especially not myself. Then it was time to leave, I was dressed and ready to go thinking to myself, “Oh boy, this is about to go wonky.”

During the drive, everything stayed comfortable for me, which was a completely new feeling. I used the CBD a few more times just to make sure I wouldn’t get inside and go all upside down. Then it was time to put it to the ultimate test, it was time to go inside, find a seat and sit through the ceremony. After finding my parents, we all went to find seats and get ready for the pomp and circumstance (see what I did there?).

I was taking pictures and talking to my family, and it was only after my nephew and his graduating class had walked in and sat down that I realized I wasn’t panicking, there wasn’t even a hint of it.

THE CBD WAS WORKING!!!

So, there I sat waiting to hear my nephews name and being proud, for more reasons than I could count. I sat there from 6pm to about 8:30pm (tons of speeches), and never once did I feel the need to flee. I wasn’t in fight or flight mode, I was calm and enjoying myself. I can’t begin to explain how that feels, when you’ve spent so much time locked in, literally and figuratively, to finally find something that works and makes you feel just a little bit like your old self. My nephew wasn’t the only one graduating that night.

I even managed to go out to dinner, that is something that hasn’t happened in five years. All in all, the day was a massive success. I couldn’t be happier. I swear by this now, and I can’t wait to make more plans and get out of the house this summer.

Well that was my entire day, it was great, and I had fun. I hope you all enjoyed reading it as much as I liked living it. Oh, I’ve been told to put this in here as well…Congratulations to the class of 2017. Until next time…

My Favorite Prompts..

Hiya friends, welcome back. This past week, I barely wrote anything that wasn’t for school. Have you ever had that moment where you realize you’re missing something? That’s what it was like for me this week, writing is an outlet for me, a way to express the stuff I’ve experienced and keep it from overpowering my mind.

I remember writing little short stories when I was younger, they were always full of light and happiness. It wasn’t until I was 19 that things changed, where there had been light was only darkness. Fear, sadness, and anger overtook freedom, happiness, and calm. Even with all the changes one thing stayed solid, I was still writing.

It’s clear by now that I’m a bibliophile, I spend a good chunk of my time reading (even when it cuts into other things…like sleeping). But, for me writing can give me the same escape, and when I don’t escape things bottle up and I become difficult to be around. Imagine being in the middle of a raging storm, complete with thunder and lightning, and then you have an idea of what I’m like without words to read, or a moment to write. I really feel bad for people around me during that time. (This is a perfect time to apologize if you’ve ever been near me in storm mode, I’m sorry.)

Well, that was a whole lot of rabbiting on just to get to this point, oops, but alas here we are. When I just need to write and don’t feel like working on my usual pieces, I find writing prompts. I love a good prompt and I thought I’d share some of my favorites with you guys, and maybe you could do the same. In hindsight, the writing at the beginning of this post seems a bit…well, dramatic. Whatever you guys get it, right?

Here are five of my favorites. Enjoy.

 

Prompt 1
Instagram: @awriterslifeforme

 

 

Prompt 2
thefakeredhead.com

 

 

Prompt 3
promptutorium.wordpress.com

 

 

Prompt 4
promptutorium.wordpress.com

 

 

Prompt 5
promptutorium.woordpress.com

 

 

I have very electic taste when it comes to writing, if you hadn’t guessed. If you use one of these, please feel free to share with me. I love reading how different writers interpret prompts. Until next time….

Venturing out for Sanity

Hiya friends, welcome back. First let me apologize for being absent last week, oh mama what a week it was. There was some massive stuff happening, but I guess I can’t be too pissed because it gave me something to write about today.

*WARNING* Everything that follows is my own personal feelings and experiences, remember while reading that your mileage may vary.

I know I’ve mentioned before that the medications my doctors put me on didn’t work for me, we tried a few and needless to say it was a lost cause. Which left me trying anything and everything to find some sort of relief. Here are some of the things I’ve tried…

Deep breathing, it helped for a while and then I was right back to panic central.

Yoga, ha I did learn on thing from this, I am NOT bendy…AT ALL!!!

Journaling, I still do this, and while it helps me sort through the problems, it doesn’t lessen the anxiety.

The list goes on my friends, seriously ask anyone who knows me and they’ll tell you. I even forced myself to have panic attacks by going to places I knew would cause one, not smart, but I was running out of options.

Then it happened, a doctor suggested medical marijuana, and I immediately thought to myself, ‘Ummm, yeah no.” I’m anxious enough without THC adding to it, so this option didn’t make sense.

Enter CBD oil.

CBD (cannabidiol) oil gives you the calm without the high, it’s natural and non-psychotropic. Which means you can use it without having to worry about impairment or paranoia.

I’ve been using it for about a week, and even with everything happening I didn’t freak the hell out. I kept my head, and didn’t panic as much as I usually do. That’s a fucking win in my book. I know it’s not a cure all, but if it can help me even a fraction I’m going to give it a shot.

So I ordered a bottle of the oil and a vape pen (I’m being told to add here that “Vape is life!” Don’t ask.) Well I recieved the oil but not the vape, cue the serge of anxiety at not having it in time for my nephew’s graduation ceremony, and having to break yet another promise that I’d be there because he asked me to. There was only one thing to do….I had to leave the house to get one.

Dun Dun Dun…

Immediately my anxiety kicks into high gear thinking about all the possible ways this could go wrong, or all the lovely new places I could have a panic attack, all the strangers that could see that…ugh. See, it’s a bitch.

But, I did it. I got what I needed and now I sit here with this monster of a vape, I’ve affectionately named “The Beast,” and hoping a little CBD before the graduation ceremony and I’ll get through it without any major incidents. *Fingers crossed*

Well, I will let you guys know next Monday how everything went…wish me luck. If you want more info on this I’d be happy to direct you to some helpful stuff I’ve found, or maybe even do another post including everything I’m using. That’s all for tonight, I hope you all had a wonderful week. Until next time…

Book Review: The Butterfly Garden

Hiya friends, welcome back. As promised here is my review of the book that broke my reading slump. (Oh, happy day!)

The butterfly garden

B&N2amazon 2

The Butterfly Garden

Dot Hutchison

Near an isolated mansion lies a beautiful garden.

In this garden grow luscious flowers, shady trees…and a collection of precious “butterflies”—young women who have been kidnapped and intricately tattooed to resemble their namesakes. Overseeing it all is the Gardener, a brutal, twisted man obsessed with capturing and preserving his lovely specimens.

When the garden is discovered, a survivor is brought in for questioning. FBI agents Victor Hanoverian and Brandon Eddison are tasked with piecing together one of the most stomach-churning cases of their careers. But the girl, known only as Maya, proves to be a puzzle herself.

As her story twists and turns, slowly shedding light on life in the Butterfly Garden, Maya reveals old grudges, new saviors, and horrific tales of a man who’d go to any length to hold beauty captive. But the more she shares, the more the agents have to wonder what she’s still hiding…(Amazon)

 

Now my thoughts, which begin quite simply with how interesting I found the plot of this story. I’m a sucker for mystery crime novel, and this one did not disappoint me. When I began reading it took some time to get used to how the author jumped between the present interrogation and the past memories. I immediately felt for the main character Maya, you could just tell she had a rough start at life, and being captured by the Gardener was just the latest terrible thing to happen to her. I will say, there are parts that are not for the faint of heart, it’s extremely creepy at points, and I can definitely see how that would be off putting to certain readers, but I’m a weirdo and I just thought it added another layer to the story. Then, as in typical crime/mystery novel fashion, there was a twist. But WHAT a twist! I didn’t see this one coming at ALL, which just made me like it even more. In honor of the tough women, I give this novel four and a half butterflies.

 

Well, there you have it, my review of this incredible novel. I really hope you take some time and maybe give this book a chance, I don’t think you’ll regret it…and if you do you can blame me.  Until next time…