Hiya friends welcome back. The other night, while talking with a friend, somehow the conversation moved to books. (Don’t give me that look, I wasn’t the one navigating, I was simply a passenger in this conversation) We started off talking about all the reasons why we love reading, and how amazing books are. Being as my friends love to pick on me for being an avid reader, the conversation quickly became, “Ways to annoy the Bookworm.” What follows is the list we compiled and why I find them so annoying.
The Changing of the Covers
If you’re anything like me you know exactly what I’m talking about, and you’re rolling your eyes already. Let me explain, an author spends a great deal of time writing their literary masterpiece, it hits the bestsellers list and then something amazing happens…it gets optioned. Now you know what’s coming next…the inevitable changing of the covers. There was nothing wrong with the original cover, they’ve just decided now that it’s a movie or a television show it ought to reflect those characters. So, this book that you read before it was all cool and motion pictured, now lies between two covers with actors on it. I’m not saying that this detracts from the story, and it’s wonderful that it grabs a new audience, but seriously the cover still had the title on it. You want them to know it’s now all fancy and you can watch it, how about slapping one of those “Now a Major Motion Picture” stickers on it?
The Difference between a Bookworm and a Monster
Do not, I repeat, do not dog ear my pages. You know that saying, “hell hath no fury like a woman scorned,” well I will put that to shame if you bend a page in my books. A true bookworm knows that anything, except for food, can serve as a suitable bookmark. Here are some tried and true bookmarks to save you some hassle…. receipts, index cards, a corner torn from a magazine cover, hell I’ve even used a candy wrapper before. Anything will work, just don’t bend the corner over.
The Bait and Switch
This one might not be as clear just from the name, let me walk you through this one. We’ve all had that moment in the bookstore, where you pick up a book that has caught your eye and read the blurb on the jacket. This is followed by a sense of euphoria when you believe you have found your next reading adventure. You take the new book home and settle in for an incredible story, only to get three chapters in and realize…” hold the phone, this book sucks…the bastards tricked me.” That my friends is the bait and switch, and allow me to be the first to apologize if you have ever encountered this. If not, well then you are quite the lucky reader.
The Disappearing Character
Imagine you’re reading a novel and you are introduced to this incredibly intriguing character. You spend the rest of the story waiting to get the answers to that character, only to realize he/she is nowhere to be found. Two chapters of a character, leaving you with questions that need answers, and now you’ll never get them. Why? Why give me a character and then poof take them away? What purpose does that serve? But what happened? You’ll never know, and that sucks!
The Waiting Game
Finding a series that you love is a great moment, the prospect of more than one book to fall in love or hate with a cast of characters is heady. I don’t know about you guys, but I tend to devour books at an alarming rate when I really love them. Reading that quickly inevitably leads to arriving at the end of the available books and having to wait a year for the next installment. UGH…just thinking about this makes my eye twitch.
BFMYWF (Best Friends Making You Wait Forever)
I’m talking about the time between recommending a book and when they finally finish reading it. Meanwhile, I’m just sitting quietly, waiting for them to finish so we can talk about it. I pass the time by asking the typical questions…” What part are you at?” “Do you like it so far?” “Got a favorite character?” When all I really want to say is, “Why the hell are you taking so long to read it. It’s so good, I couldn’t put it down. A turtle could read faster than you, but don’t worry I still love you. Are you done yet? Are you? Are you?” But, then there is the moment when they do finish, the dam breaks, and you just bombard them with everything. Ahhh, bliss.
There you have it, 6 ways to annoy a bookworm (namely me!). You can let me know of any I missed, it’d be nice to know I’m not the only weird one. Until next time…