The Day the World Tilted

Hiya friends, welcome back. Have you ever had a week where you just felt like the universe was laughing at you? I swear, this is the perfect way to sum up the week I’ve had.

To be fair, the week started out perfectly normal. Sunday was Hobbs’ birthday, so we had a friend over for dinner and just had a laid-back night. The next couple of days were full of homework and work – again, perfectly normal.

Then Thursday happened.

Dizzy Panda.jpgI woke up and the world TILTED. Seriously, I sat up everything went wonky. My first thought was that I’d just gotten up too fast, no big deal, it’s happened before and it usually just goes away. When it didn’t pass, my next thought was a panic attack (dizziness or lightheadedness tends to be a big indicator for me). Again, no dice.

Now, I really was panicking by this point and texted Hobbs asking him to come home. He did, bless that man, he’s too good. Needless to say, we ended up at the Urgent Care in our town. The wait was excruciating; every time I moved my head – in any fucking direction – I felt like I was going to puke.

Finally got into a room to see the doctor, and after a few minutes she had me diagnosed; Benign paroxysmal positional vertigo. Let me tell you, it SUCKS! Apparently, while listening to me breathe the doc heard some palpitations, andPale.jpg she was also worried about anemia because I was pale. So, they also did an EKG and blood work. I ended up having to take Thursday and Friday off of work. Driving was not an option.

*EDIT – I do not have anemia and they aren’t too worried about the palpitations right now.*

I will say I was proud as hell of myself for keeping my shit together during all this. I had my anxiety and panic locked the fuck down during the doctor’s visit, and that was a massive win for me! Fun fact: I did have a breakdown the other day over all of this, but we’ll talk about that in another post.

I’m feeling better today, so thank the universe for small miracles. Now it’s time to go back to homework, and preparing for my birthday this Friday. (Side Note: we’re not actually doing anything for my birthday). Until next time…

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R&IHiya friends, welcome back. Let’s set the scene, shall we? I am currently laying on the couch, surrounded by tissues, water, cough drops, and inhalers. There is also my homework somewhere under the blankets and pillows. I’ve been alternating between sleeping, watching TV (Rizzoli & Isles, I’m a sucker for crime procedural), working on homework, and reading. To be fair, that list is only happening between bouts of coughing or sneezing.

In the last three days, I have seen two doctors, the first of which diagnosed me with an Upper Respiratory Infection, the second added on Bronchitis. For those wondering, the reason I went to the second one was because my trouble breathing got worse and that tends to give the Asshole just enough wiggle room to turn my life into a recreation of Twister. Good movie, terrible real life.

For some reason, once everything has a name, it helps shut Asshole up. He can’t convince me I’m dying of some unknown disease if I know what I have. Don’t get me wrong, this does not stop him from trying his luck. Like most of the world, I don’t like being sick; unlike most of the world, I have to deal with some of the worst panic attacks I’ve ever had because I’m sick. I have been known to spend nights wide awake when I’m sick, even though I know not sleeping will just make it worse.

The past couple of nights I’ve been fighting with the Asshole, and trying to get better. Honestly, I just keep hoping to wake up and be all better. It hasn’t happened yet, but I’m still holding out for it. Meanwhile, I’m popping cough drops like candy, I’ve gone through an entire box of tissues, my nose hurts, and I sound like I could audition to sing the theme song from Shaft (bring it on, Isaac Hayes). Can ya dig it?

As far as how I’ve been handling things, before today I might have said rather well. I am, however, hitting maximum handling ability, which means tonight will be spent curled up Whinyin bed just trying to keep the Asshole in his place. It’s only 9pm and I’m already debating going upstairs and assuming the position of someone who wishes to wallow in self pity. In case you haven’t guessed yet, I’m a massive baby when I’m sick. I’ve asked my mother if she agrees with this and she says she doesn’t, but I strongly suspect she’s lying to make me feel better in my feeble state.

Okay, I think this is all I have in me tonight. I’m knackered (I’ve also been watching a lot of British television) and my bed sounds really good right now. As usual, there are two numbers down at the bottom, the National Suicide Prevention Helpline, and the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) Treatment Referral Helpline, use them if you need them. See you lovely lot tomorrow.

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255

SAMHSA: 1-800-662-HELP (4357)